If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
