he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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