You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
