dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
