i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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