Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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