the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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