Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You ruined the universe
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
