My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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