So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
