your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
