The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
