i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
