my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wish my penis had a tongue
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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