i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Randomize
