this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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