You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
