It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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