You made me cry and you don't even care
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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