You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
