I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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