Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
