We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
