1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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