I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
