dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
