There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
