I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
