I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
