Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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