That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i think i have two assholes
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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