Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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