Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
