Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
