I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i came on her dog
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
