I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
