wake up i wanna do it froggy style
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
drinking out of a sandbucket again
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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