it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize