On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
