You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
