i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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