k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize