It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
