Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
What did we do last night that was yellow?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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