Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
