is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
