singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
