Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
