im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
