so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
