I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
