I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
