I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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