I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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