Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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