Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm like, not good at living.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
