Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
