Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
