Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I think a kid would responsible me up
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
