There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
