I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize