It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
there's paper in my vomit.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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