why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
